I was always surprised that all my actions, plans and dreams did not came to fruition. After all, I was intelligent, and well educated. I always considered myself a person disciplined, motivated and possessing all the necessary qualifications to succeed.
I tried my luck dozens of times and each time I made something that made me lose again. Being unable to answer this basic question what is happening to me, I blamed market conditions, competition, or that I had too little support. I did not take ...
... into account that the problem may be elsewhere.
Characteristic in my actions were the attempts to do everything always in the same way. It seemed to me that I learned the lessons from previous failures, but the truth was different. Next project which I did was on the same or similar erroneous assumptions.
There were a lot of other mistakes that I made. And despite my commitment and best efforts, nothing succeeded. At some point I realized that I probably do not know how exactly should my actions look like. I stopped pursuing my further ideas. I began to read and watch how others successfully carry out their projects. Then it struck me that a lot of things I do in a wrong way.
I started my education. Theoretical knowledge I already had, and that was not the problem. The problem were the features of my character, which always led me to defeat. I began to explore the rules which I needed to adopt in order to succeed. The reality turned out differently than I thought, and the sooner I reconciled and accepted it, the faster any change and effects appeared.
So what I did:
1. I determined what I really want
I've been doing a lot of things and a lot of things I knew about. I was a specialist in many areas. Once a computer scientist, once a fitness instructor, once a salesperson, marketer, graphic designer, editor, once even I run a publishing company. And it's just part of my "skills". The problem was that in everything I was average if not mediocre. I did not have any established knowledge. So my skills paid me little, because if someone needed something special for which he was ready to pay a lot, I wasn't a good fit. In short, I had to settle for lousy little pay.
After that, of course, I had no time for anything else because in order to do anything I had to constantly experiment and explore. Solution for getting rid of that chaos was to select one, main area in which I want to specialize. I started doing it, and my fortune have changed. I've let go the illusion that I am a unique, superhuman and can do everything. I accepted that I am a normal person with specific capabilities.
2. I learned instead of experimenting and guessing
One of the main myths which had engraved in my mind was that running a business can not be learned. It seemed to me that this ability is reserved for those who have a flair or some other mysterious abilities. It was related to selected few who can do business, and the rest of humanity which dreams and tries without success.
Fortunately, it turned out that it is not so bad. Success in any field is possible and it is for everyone. Business is a profession like any other, somebody knows it or needs to learn it. There's no magic, mystery and luck. You can learn it as driving a car or a foreign language.
It changed my way of action. I started learning skills such as dealing with failures, problems, I learned perseverance, patience, courage, communicating with others and dozens of other similar feats. I began to ask questions on various aspects of success. I was confronting what I learned, with what I thought previously. I did not take everything indiscriminately, but I didn't reject anything.
3. I ceased to operate according to the old erroneous schemes
Although with time I began to have more and better knowledge and skills, I still acted spontaneously. I couldn't plan everything in my head as I should. I couldn't produce this pattern of success that would lead me to results. So all the time, for some reason I was failing.
It was terribly frustrating because after a month of hard work on myself I could not see tangible results. It turned out that the whole time I was missing something, all the time in some areas something was screwed. Very often, it got to the situation, that I learned something, I implemented it, and although it was effective, I would eventually forget about it with time.
An excellent example is organizing myself. It consists the amount of time and speed in which the goals are accomplished. I used it effectively. I was glad that I'm doing so well. But then from week to week, from month to month I forgot it. After half a year, I couldn't find anything I was looking for, I couldn't do anything and I was lost. Happily I did not give up and I returned to the previous discipline.
On the road to happiness there are always standing some obsttacles and shortcomings, but I decided to control them. I started to list everything and keep a record of errors, failures and successes. After so many disasters in my life I knew I had to be careful. Success is no accident, it needs to be solidly worked out.
4. I was prepared that it will not be easy
Doing something not always pans out as we expect. In my experience, anything rarely goes the way we want it. As I read many times success requires sacrifice, but I would never thought it would be so hard. However I would be prepared, I knew that if I want to go from a dream to reality it will be a long, difficult and often painful road. A lot of adversity and failures will happen. In reality there were more failures than I would expect in my darkest nightmare. I received blows even at the moment in which I thought that it can only get better, but it turned out that I again suffered a defeat.
I had different ways to overcome difficult moments. One of them was, and is, to realize that this is the moment of truth which I read about. The problem, however, was bigger, because I had a whole lot of such moments, sometimes one after the other. And it was a measure of success and achievement if I could survive such moments and continue to operate. I somehow did not surrender despite the many seemingly hopeless moments.
5. Despite many obstacles I've done as much as possible
You can't learn a foreign language only from a book, you can't learn to swim without walking to the pool, you can't learn business without being in the field. Besides, there are more similarities. As I began to learn a foreign language I made a lot of mistakes. As I started to swim I choked several times with water. Likewise, in business, I've done a lot of things that are not as should be.
I did't understand that at first. It seemed to me that the business needs only to be established and it works. I didn't know that before it will start work I need to make hundreds of smaller and larger mistakes. It is not enough to find (read) and understand (to learn). You have to feel it. Well fed person will not understand the hungry one, as well the healthy person will not understand the sick one, however this person would try. In the same way I did not understand the mechanisms of the business till I experienced it.
Referring to the previous point I will give an example. I read a book about the failures and the fact that you need to go through them, then to get up and act. I thought that it will probably not concern me, because I am so motivated that I will withstand everything. I have read, I tried to understand and started to read the next chapter of the book being happy that this problem is solved.
But what happened in reality? I was running out of money to operate, customers were not coming, I was cold at night, and I thought I would go mad. And as it turned out there where dozens of such nights. Now when I have a stressful situation, I know that it is part of the game and I'm ready for it. Own failures and successes appeal best to my imagination, but I could only learn about them because I acted regardless of the circumstances.
6. The only measure of my achievements became result
Previously I was living in the illusion of hard work. The only problem there was no real actions, nor any results. I just thought in my mind that I was doing something and getting somewhere. When I wanted to do something I was analyzing for hours other websites. I went to sleep, and even though I did nothing I had the feeling of time usefully spent. I've done a lot of things in this way. Sometimes even doing any substitute activities, just not to do what I should. I remember I had to write an offer and send it by email. After opening the email program I started writing ... an email to a friend. My head told myself that this email to a friend is very important and so I had to write it. So in a sense of fulfilled duty I could calmly finish my work.
What I had in reality is a lot of read websites, lots of written emails to friends. I had nothing done what could bring me to some goal. So now the measure of my action is not the amount of time spent at the computer, the number of sent emails, or the number of thoughts and good intentions. Now, the measure of my action is a tangible end result.
7. I accepted the principle that everything can be changed in myself
Earlier in my life, I was expressing a view that a person can not be changed. That character traits that I have are given to me once and for all. In general, it seemed to me that I need to accept the world in which I function the way it is. I have to accept my very unimportant role in it and adapt to the role that was assigned to me, and the splendor and success leave to others.
I was very wrong. As it turns out, you can change and shape yourself anew. You can become a completely different person. I analyzed hundreds of famous people. It turned out that most of them begun as I, from failures and lack of skills. What distinguished them wasn't talent, but that they never surrendered, they believed in themselves and they did what they liked, regardless of the opinion of others.
Such a change, however, requires three things: first, you need to have this very desire, secondly you need to know that it will be hard, and the third is to be prepared that it will take a long time. I personally was able to change in myself dozens of things. Made my life became lighter, easier, kinder, more friendly. Finally, I could do what I like, I could achieve anything, and each day was just beautiful.
Written by Kefner. Soon more episodes.